June 22, 2007

June 22, 2007 ... Three years ago....the worst day of my life... the best day of my life...

The day Jeff walked out the door.  It was a day I had prayed that would never come. But a day that I prayed for direction for. I prayed for my eyes to open to whether or not I was to stay in my marriage. The Lord is a gentleman and He tried to show me in a gentle way, but the stubborn me said... "nah that is just me or nah it would be more to it if that was it".  SO He showed me BIG, but in the process He showed me how BIG He was. 

Just as this was the worst day it soon became the best day. I was a stay at home mom, working only two days at a parents day out program. Within two weeks I had a full time job that allowed me to be there for Zoey. I thought I was alone but I had a church family and friends that rallyed in my corner and stayed with me and held me together.  I thought I was weak. But there again I was made strong. I saw the power of Jesus in my life. I thought I was drowning but I was being carried thru the water by Him.  It was amazing to see God work in my life. He worked in a mighty way. Leading to the best day of my life. Thru this journey I was able to depend on Him more, to trust more, and still love.

A friend gave me a word that she had been given just for me. This was weeks before Jeff left. She told me I was going to be the anchor in my family.  I had no clue what that meant. She also said I was to show Jeff love.  Well I thought to myself that it meant that I was to love Jeff and that I was going to hold the family together. WRONG!!! The anchor was a symbol ... of how strong and hard I was going to be holding to His hand in the storm and loving Jeff meant now matter what I was to show him love so that Zoey would not learn to hate him only despise his choices. Nightly I explained to Zoey about choices be them good or bad .... doesn't change how you love the person or the person loves us. My words were "Your dad is making bad choices but he still loves you". 

And years later... he is trying to make amends to her... I see how that word is still coming forth.

So three years later... the worst day is still the best day of my life. Thanks to a word and the Word!